It Wasn’t Too Bad!!

My attempt at a traditional western style Christmas lunch turned out to be quite a success, thanks to my ‘Plan B’ (to fill the guests with large quantities of alcohol before the meal to mask the quality of the cooking!). What was planned as an intimate lunch for 12 turned out to be an even more intimate lunch for 9 – thanks to the ever present Mr Covid – that started at 1230 pm and ended at 2330pm!! I managed to find most of the usual traditional ingredients here in Hua Hin

and I even managed some ‘pigs in blankets’

which I have to admit didn’t quite taste as they should have, made with mini frankfurters but it was the thought that counted!

I even discovered a retired English chef here who makes the occasional batch of almost forgotten favourites including…Christmas puddings which went down a treat.

The only semi disaster was the lemon meringue pie which I thought I was being incredibly clever by making on 24th and which, I have to admit looked pretty good.

Clearly, though, lemon meringue pies don’t like hot climates! As there was no room in the fridge I left it overnight in what I thought was the coolest place in the house only to discover on Christmas morning that the meringue had collapsed and most of it had seeped out onto the floor! A rushed 5 egg whites later and I had the semblance of a meringue topping again which, although didn’t look quite as professional as my first attempt seemed to satisfy my semi inebriated guests. All in all, a good time was had by all- at least, I think so!

Despite the looming spectre of Omicron, prior to Christmas there was a slight relaxation of the hospitality sector rules meaning that alcoholic drinks could, at last, be openly served in restaurants approved by the Thailand Tourist Authority and given SHA (Safety and Health Administration) certification. As we had no such approval, a frenzy of form filling followed (oh, how the Thais love their paperwork!) together with much taking of staged photos to show conclusively that we were following a myriad of health and safety rules and regulations. A nervous few days later and we were awarded the certificate which is now proudly displayed on the Knock Knock 94 wall.

Sadly, our self congratulation at gaining this certificate was short lived as we were then about to be embroiled in some sort of internal political game between the local provincial government and the national one. Whereas it had been loudly proclaimed by the Thai central government that if a restaurant has the SHA certification, alcohol could be served with food, the local provincial worthies announced shortly afterwards that this wasn’t good enough for them and that: a) despite having a restaurant licence, we had to prove that we actually were a restaurant again and b) our SHA certification was just not good enough – and certainly not a blue coloured one – so we must now apply for the local Super SHA certification (SHA+) and in green, not blue!!

The result of all this was (inevitably) more paperwork, more signs and instructions for the customers,

none of which, in my humble opinion do anything to enhance the relaxed customer experience that we are trying to promote. And if all this wasn’t bad enough, all our cushions and table coverings have had to be discarded as they were obviously a Covid breeding ground

which has left our once quite cosy and user friendly restaurant/bar looking more like a hospital canteen! Aaah! But as long as it ticks the right government boxes, what does it matter what the place looks and feels like?

The culmination of all this ‘realignment’ was a visit from inspectors from the Thai Health authority accompanied by the police which I guess was to to give this event the gravitas that it, quite clearly, deserved! Lots of box ticking and finger pointing was followed by the inevitable picture taking,

presumably to show the relevant bosses that the public’s money was being well spent in the fight against Covid.

We have been told, unofficially, that we have ‘passed’ but whether we will have any customers left who are prepared to comply with all the regulations and discomforts that this latest initiative has imposed is a different matter entirely. For now, though, it’s time for a bit of relaxation to try and forget the bureaucratic nonsense we have had to endure over the last few days!

There are at least some advantages of the lack of tourists during this beautiful time of year!

Until the next time.

R.